Wednesday, June 27, 2012


Who knew that Abe Lincoln was such a bad mofo? While one book and movie has his sideline occupation as “Vampire Hunter” (which is a fun flick, by the way), this particular straight-to-DVD opus shows The Great Emancipator emancipating Zombies – from their heads. At least in some instances.

The Asylum Home Entertainment Company brings us another oddball winner. If you’re a sucker for these kinds of movies like I am, you can’t help but feel Asylum is catering to sickies like us.

Oh, well, hang on and enjoy the ride!

This can be found in Wal-Mart for a nominal price.


I’ve just discovered that we lost December 1968 Playboy Playmate Cynthia Myers to lung cancer in early November of last year. She was 61 at the time of her death. I hadn’t even known she was ill.

Cynthia was a particular favorite of our GI’s serving in Vietnam in the days following her Playboy appearance. Looking at the pictures below, it’s really not difficult to see why this was so.

Because of her rather large bust, she appeared in Russ Meyer’s then X-rated “Beyond The Valley of the Dolls” and she talks about this in the extras section of the DVD release of BVD.

BVD on DVD now has the rating of “NC-17” and I managed to get it at Wal-Mart before any of the sales associates realized what the movie was and removed it from store shelves.

Cynthia will be missed, especially by those teenage boys whom she unknowingly helped pull through puberty. Present company included.

Rest well, sweetheart.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012


Welcome news came yesterday that that another Al-Qaeda bigwig has been confirmed dead in a surprise drone attack. Every body cavity I have vibrated with delight to hear this news!

To think that at the end of the day Abu Yahia Al-Libi (Libi-Libi), pictured above, will be on the autopsy table (table-table) brings to me much inner peace and puts me in an altogether good humor. Incidentally, my apologies to Libby’s Canned Vegetables for using their old ad campaign to make a terrible pun here.

Anyway, a few weeks ago I posted a picture on a Facebook entertainment page that I co-administrate, along with two young ladies, called “Disasterbation Diaries”. This is that photograph:

“Disasterbation Diaries” has a decent-sized following, so from the moment I posted the photograph I was expecting some comments to be left on the page about it.

The first one that came in was from a woman who looked to be objecting to my having referred to the crispy critter as a “terrorist”. As a point of fact, I did not type the caption that appears beneath the photo, so I cannot claim credit for identifying Mr. (Third Degree) Burns here as a “terrorist“.

“How did I know he was a terrorist?” seemed to be her underlying question. The answer is that I do not, in fact, KNOW that he is/was a terrorist. However, based on the fact that the crowd watching the flag burn was doing this from another country (doing something like this on an American street is likely to get you shot) and that they looked to be enjoying the spectacle, I’d say it was a safe bet that these folks were/are hostile to us. That – in my book – qualifies them as “terrorists”. Or close enough for Government work, as the saying goes. Bonus Terrorist Points apply if they refer to us as “The Great Satan”.

As I further expected, most of the other comments left about the photograph were supportive in nature to my having posted it. Some who left comments were hostile to this woman.

She was, however, quite correct when she indicated that setting a flag on fire is a form of the right of free speech and is, therefore, protected. Conversely, I suggested to her that she also has the right to drink bleach if she wanted to, but the question is just because someone has a RIGHT to do something does that mean that they should actually go ahead and DO it?

It’s my contention that most Americans are intolerant of this sort of thing if they themselves have served in the military, have loved ones who did or still do or have lost family members who died defending our great country. I still see, with a great deal of personal pride and satisfaction, the occasional bumper sticker (usually on a pick-up truck) that proclaims, “Burn My Flag and I’ll Burn Your Ass”.

If you set the American flag on fire, or in some other way desecrate it, then you deserve to have to constantly put fires out on your own lawn or whatever other diabolical forms of revenge you wind up suffering. Most people will not be sympathetic to you (and rightly so) if you piss on the memory of our Veterans and Fallen Heroes.

But I digress.

The score as closely as see it: America wins this one by a long shot, so suck it, Terrorists!

And if someone doesn’t like that assessment of things, this is where they can pucker up and kiss my hairy, Italian-American ass.

So buh-bye, Abu Yahia al-Libi. As you “enjoy” the saunas of Hell, I hope your 72 virgins spend eternity reaming you with the bigger end of a spiked baseball bat. It will really be a “tough day at the orifice” for you, Abu!

Batter up!


It was, if you'll excuse the expression, a "novel" concept. Give some attractive young ladies some crime novels from "Hard Case" publishers, get them topless - sometimes in public places - and have them read your books. Brilliant!