A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET (THE "RE-IMAGINING")

First of all, the term “re-imagining” is bogus; it’s a frickin’ re-make. Hey movie people: at least have the courtesy of recognizing that most people have brains, will ya, and call it what it is: an unnecessary re-make.

Next: Fred Krueger was a douchebag child molester. Yup, even in the original, for all you youngsters out there. But somehow this movie character was catapulted to friggin’ rock star status in the 80s and some genius in the movie community thought it was a good idea to bring him back. The least they could have done was make his crimes different than being a molester. But no, New Line Cinema brings Mr. Charming back with all his cute little peccadilloes intact.

Jackie Earle Haley, the new Freddy, will now no doubt have goth chicks lined up around the block to blow/sleep with him just so they can say they did that Krueger guy. Bet Robert Englund left his DNA with hundreds of babes back in the day as well, eh?

No surprises here, including the negative ending.