GILA!

One of those “nature gone amok” novels that I read as a young man while serving in the military in Kitzingen, Germany.

Pretty run of the mill stuff, people getting eaten, etc. Imagine it kept author Les Simons in bologna and cheese crackers for the better part of a year.

Nice, menacing cover, though.

FROGS

I have to snicker when I think of what it must have been like at American-International Pictures when the writers of this movie tried to pitch the idea that frogs were menacing. And that they could carry a “nature strikes back” story such as this.

So this is why, I would imagine, they had to truck in snakes, gators and other things with teeth in order to alleviate at least SOME of the laughter in the movie theater.

I’m sure the laughter has passed down through the years and can still be heard in homes everywhere whenever this DVD is screened for friends who enjoy “alternative” cinema. Not exactly a proud moment for either Ray Milland or Sam Elliott, I must point out.

Saw this one as a 12 year old at the St. Andrews Cinema in St. Charles, MO, in 1972. It was playing on a double bill with DR. JEKYLL AND SISTER HYDE. You know, it’s amazing the kind of crap that sticks in the crevices of one’s mind….

HOSTEL PART III

Ok, if you've seen HOSTEL and HOSTEL PART II, then you know the drill here (no pun intended).

Here are the prime differences in this new chapter of the story: Eli Roth is not involved in Part III. The hostile Hostel environment is moved from a foreign country to the outskirts of Las Vegas. Other than when the victims are given "attention", there seems to be a lack of the atmospheric threat that were rampant in the first two movies.

Not to say that Hostel III doesn't have it moments; I'd be lying if I said otherwise. There are some interesting twists here that kept me riveted. Enough nastiness in this to please gore fans and equal parts of nice suspense here.

This might just be intriguing enough for you to stick in the DVD player long after the kids are down for the night.

THE DISASTERBATION DIARIES

So when close friend Christina Buckner – whose name readers of this blog should recognize by now – texted me last night that she was going to create a Facebook page for her “random crap”, I suggested that she use just that as a heading. Or, perhaps, “Christina’s Random Crap”.

However, that wonderful brain of hers went into overdrive and she created a page under the name “Disasterbation Diaries” – and once again I’ve been knocked for a loop. As old as I am nowadays, it’s sure nice to find things that pleasantly surprise me (other than the wonder of still waking up every morning). With Christina, just about everything she says or writes about is a revelation. I am in awe of her.

Christina has made me co-administrator of “Disasterbation Diaries”, so I’ll be putting things and bits up there, too, in the days to come. It warms the cockles of my heart to see that she thinks this much of me to allow me this privilege.

I am unsure, at present, as to whether “Disasterbation Diaries” is going to serve as her “official” Facebook Page for her wonderful blog, “Just A Thought” (CHRISTINA BUCKNER'S WORLD ), or if perhaps she’ll create another one for it. Whichever way she decides to go, you can bet one thing: you will be thoroughly entertained by what you read. When she turns her keen eye on a topic, it is subject to her razor-sharp wit. And don’t kid yourself for a moment: she is brutally honest. Especially about herself. If it draws her ire, she shows no mercy.

Christina has the wonderful ability to laugh at herself (which can sometimes be hard for most people to do) as well as to laugh at others (which is MUCH easier, considering what the world is like now). At the end of the day, this is a very endearing quality and is one of the MANY things that people will find charming about her.

I learned long ago that if one has a self-deprecating sense of humor, it’s easier for people to like you. Christina’s entire family has this wonderful ability and when we can all get together, silliness abounds. Spending time with them makes me forget about my troubles, at least for a while. This, to me, is what life is all about.

Anyway, please scoot on over to “Disasterbation Diaries” on FB, and then to her blog as well to experience firsthand Christina’s wit and charm. She’s very interactive on her blog and will be on her FB page for DD as it builds a following. If you leave her comments or e-mail about it, she’ll respond as soon as she can. Tell her Mick sent you!

TICKLE MY TUSH: MILD-TO-WILD ANALPLAY ADVENTURES FOR EVERYBOOTY

Mr. & Mrs. America and all the ships at sea: guess what else you might have in common with each other? Anal Sex, that’s what!

Yep, according to Dr. Sadie Allison’s new sexuality self-help book, TICKLE MY TUSH: MILD-TO-WILD ANALPLAY ADVENTURES FOR EVERYBOOTY, there’s fun to be had in them thar cheeks!

The book is a quick read with illustrations and short chapters.

As you might imagine, this book might tend to be a real shocker to those who perceive themselves to be straight laced. Now, I’m no angel and all that, but I like to think that not much in this world can surprise me anymore. Then I started reading this book.

I’ve found that anal sex (referred to in the pages as “analplay” or “buttplay”) seems to no longer belong in the realm of the “perverted” but is now becoming a rapidly common, acceptable practice. As much fun as Dr. Sadie seems to have with this topic (Who knew? A woman who not only LIKES anal, but writes about it with a certain twinkle in her eye), but stresses monogamy (which I dig) and responsible behavior when indulging.

I never really thought of anal as a viable and fun alternative to conventional sex. Perhaps it’s because sitting through German porn films, drunk, on my 21st birthday in Wurzburg, Germany in 1981 traumatized me. My exposure to adult films prior to that were silent one-reelers that were of the oral or “man-on-top-get-it-over-with-quick” variety that were circulating in our barracks in Kitzingen, Germany.

German porn is particularly vile, so when I saw anal (and other things I never wanted to try) on the big screen in that Wurzburg tavern, it pretty much disturbed me for a good while after that. Then, as I tend to do with things that upset me, I pretty much started making jokes about it to help myself deal with it.

Anyway, the tender subject (ouch!) of anal sex is broached carefully (and with a certain amount of reverence) by Dr. Sadie in TMT:M-T-WAAFE and she actually extols that when everyone is hygienically clean and monogamous (this is key) that this kind of thing can lead to “toe-curling orgasms”.

Then there’s something called the “prostate orgasm”. This is NOT what I experienced during an impromptu finger exam last year. My doctor said that he didn’t feel anything out of the ordinary. I replied, “Wow, Doc, I sure did!” However, in the interest of reading and completely understanding this book, I will have to re-read that portion until I learn just what a “prostate orgasm” is – and how one can achieve it.

There is specific instruction from the basic massaging of the area in question to actual penetration. Dr. Sadie maintains that if it’s done properly, respectfully and with care that there should be little or no pain involved. Both partners have to be willing to experiment to see what one likes (or doesn’t) and for Pete’s sake, keep your nail short on the finger you decide to use.

I suppose there is a gaggle of fun to be had in learning the techniques in this book and then putting them to use. I’m not sure that Karen, my better half, would want me doing all that research, though.

Special thanks to Barbara Dunn for hipping me to this book and seeing to it that I got one to read and write about here. You can contact Dr. Sadie on her facebook page, facebook.com/doctorsadie.

Have fun and play nice, kiddies. Remember, guys, if you’re a brute and you hurt her doing any of this, you will have reached the end of the line and, consequently, there’ll be no booty for you!

Gotta go. Karen instructed me that I’m to give her an oral book report on this one. Later, dudes and dudettes!