BEYOND XAVIERA

This is the second – and hopefully last – book written by the former “companion” of Xaviera Hollander, a.k.a. “The Happy Hooker”. Larry “The Silver Fox” Dreyfus tells completely unbelievable tales in BEYOND XAVIERA.

The subtitle of Larry’s book is “What Do You Do for an Encore after The Happy Hooker?”.

Well, here’s what you do:

· Write your second book for a cheapie publishing house in an effort to hold onto that “brass ring” which seems to be moving further from your grasp.
· Put pictures of models on the cover of the book whom you couldn’t possibly have “nailed”.
· You also put a picture of yourself on the cover, looking like a gray-haired Marcel Marceau with an enlarged proboscis, wearing neck chains and a hideous, thrift store shirt.
· In the book, you tell stories of how women can’t keep their hands off you, leaving the rest of us to wonder how ANY women would WANT to put their hands on you.

As “proof” I guess with regards to his irresistibility to women, “Veronica”, in the first few chapters, writes of her sexual escapades with Larry. How do we know that this is genuinely “Veronica” speaking? Why it’s in italics of course and EVERYONE knows that printed italics just HAVE to be by the person to whom the writing is accredited, right?

So “Veronica” brags on liking to “take it” every which a way from Larry. Apparently Larry is so good at making her explode in sexual ecstasy that she’ll go from anal to oral just like that! Here’s hoping that there was some soap and water handy directly after anal and just before oral.

The rest of the book is pretty much the same thing over and over – bragging about how many satisfied chicks have his blown loads in their bellies, ad nauseum.

I’m reminded of high school locker rooms where you just know that the guy doing the most bragging is getting virtually no real action at all. I’m inclined to believe the same thing here about ol’ Larry.