THE FORBIDDEN POSTING

Here it is. The “forbidden” posting that was removed from the “Disasterbation Diaries” (DD) Facebook page that I originally posted it on.

Apparently someone – they’re called “trolls” or so I understand – got onto DD and complained to Facebook about the alleged “inappropriateness” of the above picture to even BE on Facebook.

It’s actually pretty funny when you think about it. I mean, even serial killers have their own Facebook pages and someone gets shook up about a beautiful woman cooking topless over a hot stove. I posted it with a tongue-in-cheek comment and several DD followers added their own comical statements. We had a ball with it until this one brain-twisted swine had to complain and ruin it for everyone.

So, I was thinking, if I can’t have it on Facebook, why not just move it over to one or more of my silly blogs and see what happens there. Blogspot, the on-line repository for all my blogs, doesn’t really care if anyone complains about posted content. One has to do the “parental advisory” type of disclaimer, though, so that one is “covered”. Other than that, complaints more or less fall on deaf ears. Yay!

So I present to you here the forbidden picture (my first one – I’m so pleased!!!). Who knows if it will be the first of many? That remains to be seen.

DD was created by my spiritual daughter, Christina Buckner, and has in many ways made me proud when it comes to her honesty and sense of humor. She was nice enough to ask me to co-administrate it and when she is unavailable for one reason or another, I post there quite frequently. Check it out.

VINNIE'S HEAD

Found and bought this one from a local branch of the St. Louis County Library just recently.

Ever since I read my first Carl Hiaasen book (TOURIST SEASON) as a young 20-something year old all those years ago, I became fond of the comedy “caper” novels that Mr. Hiaasen and several others do so well. So when I found VINNIE’S HEAD, I knew I had to pick it up. It looked like it was right up my alley. As it turned out, I could not have been more correct.

The blurbs for the book are interesting. Of course there is the inevitable comparison to Mr. Hiaasen and such but two of the quotes mention the novel being akin to BRING ME THE HEAD OF ALFREDO GARCIA, which was another selling point for me. I don’t think, however, Sam Peckinpah demonstrated the flair for comedy in BRING ME THE HEAD OF ALFREDO GARCIA (other than perhaps Warren Oates’ car being full of the flies that were trying to feast on Alfredo’s cranium) that author Marc Lecard does with VINNIE’S HEAD.

The novel tells the story of a small-time criminal, Johnnie LoDuco (sometimes known to his associates as “Douchebag”). The opening sequence of the book has Johnnie fishing in a New Jersey river and somehow snagging his friend Vinnie’s disattached head on the line. Wow, what are the odds? Despite what the aquatic life has done to the head so far, it’s a miracle that Johnnie even still recognizes it.

Johnnie gets spooked, of course, and he takes the head with him in a bag so no one will see it and associate him with it. So that we fully understand how he’s come to this point, the story goes into flashback mode and we get to know about Vinnie and Johnnie’s relationship and what happens to Johnnie because of his involvement in a robbery of cold cuts. Yes, cold cuts.

Chapter 4 really begins the tale of Vinnie and how his head comes to be removed. From there, it’s a wild ride. VINNIE’S HEAD, without giving much else away, is a rollicking, bad taste laugh-fest. And that’s a GOOD thing.

While the book does owe – and pays – its props to the humor of Carl Hiaasen, Robert Klane (WHERE’S POPPA?, WEEKEND AT BERNIES I & II) and others who have come before, Mr. Lecard certainly has his own style and literary “voice”, if you will. As such, I’m very interested to see what else he has in store for us.

Highly recommended if you have a sense of humor. If not, don’t bother because you won’t get it or enjoy it.

NIGHT OF THE RUNNING MAN

One of the more interesting, non-series novels from Gold Eagle Books from the mid-1980’s or so.

The plot is pretty well outlined here on the cover blurb. It certainly held my attention; I remember reading this in doggone near one sitting.

A cabbie, Jerry, winds up running with a bunch of mob money. The story is in the chase as Jerry is pursued by a hitman.

Author Lee Wells wrote a screenplay from his novel and it was made into the movie of the same name starring Andrew McCarthy as Jerry and Scott Glenn as the hitman. Also had the sinister John Glover in it as the hitman’s friend who does something awful to Jerry thereby making it impossible for him to “run” anymore.

Would like to have seen more suspense fiction from Lee Wells, but don’t believe I ever did. An internet search has not really come up with anything. NIGHT OF THE RUNNING MAN, the movie, does have its own Wikipedia entry, but alas Mr. Wells does not. As such I doubt I will ever find him. Unless he finds me. If that’s the case, Lee, stop by and say “hi”.

Good luck finding this one – it’s worth the search!

GIL'S ALL FRIGHT DINER

Another of those Armageddon comedies that we all too infrequently see.

Personally, I prefer my Armageddons with fried onion rings….

BAA BAA BLACK SHEEP

At the tender age of about 14 or so, a television series premiered on NBC called BAA BAA BLACK SHEEP. It was about the wartime exploits of one Gregory “Pappy” Boyington and his “Black Sheep” Squadron. That’s not why I tuned in, though. It was because of star Robert Conrad. I’d had a fascination and admiration for Mr. Conrad since I watched him as Jim West on THE WILD, WILD WEST.

Anyway, I learned that Col. Boyington was a real character and that this series was based on real events in Boyington’s life. Followed the series faithfully and even got to see the real Pappy in a cameo role on the show.

Here, then, is the book on his life. This appears to be a first edition paperback and I have no idea where I got it.

Although I don’t believe I have read this yet, I’m going to venture to say that this really is essential to have in one’s collection if they have a keen interest – as I do – in World War II era things.

In more recent times I have seen the show pop up periodically on A&E under the name BLACK SHEEP SQUADRON.

VENOM

One of the most unique serial killer books I’ve ever read.

We have a guy here who thinks he’s becoming a spider. Calls for giant can of RAID, wouldn’t you think?

CRAZY 911 EMERGENCY CALLS

K-Tel Records (remember them?) has put together a series of actual calls to 9-1-1 made by little kids, drunks, idiots, morons and foul-mouthed people using “ebonics” speech patterns, asking for a “Bambulance”.

Favorite here has to be the “Deer Trouble” and “Homework Help” calls.

IMAGE OF THE BEAST

According to the story, Philip Jose Farmer was approached by a publisher asking him to write something akin to “classy porn” and this book – allegedly – is the result of that request. It’s actually TWO novels combined into one storyline.

IMAGE OF THE BEAST has some of the most vivid, horror prose I’ve ever read, so it’s well worth your time if you can find this book.

Look for the late, great Forrest J. Ackerman to be a character in this story.

BILLY THE KID VS. DRACULA

I am almost left speechless by this.

Star John Carradine, when later reflecting on this movie, called it a “real piece of crap”.

Do I hear any dissension from the floor?

FARCE OF THE PENGUINS

My bad, I neglected to tell a friend that this movie wasn’t for kids and so she put it on for her young child. Oops, there went the bad language!

Well, when you have Bob Saget writing and directing this, you can bet this is not going to be an episode of FULL HOUSE.

Saget, who was probably one of the funniest things in the movie THE ARISTOCRATS (about the layered storytelling of the world’s most infamous gross and filthy joke), shines here too. The thing is that no matter how he tries to disguise his voice, you always know that you’re hearing Bob Saget. No matter, he’s a great comedian. So much so, that I forgave him for even being on a crap show like FULL HOUSE quite a few years ago.

Narrated by Samuel “Tired of these Muthafuckin penguins on this Muthafuckin’ iceberg’” Jackson, this is definitely a movie to show your adult friends at parties.

A big, enthusiastic thumbs up on my end of things. Keep ‘em comin’, Bob!