Those of you know me personally will also know that I have a strange fondness for not just grade “B” movies, but Grade “Z” movies as well. Periodically, I will post of these discoveries and – as in the case of MONSTURD – let the “chips” fall where they may.
In late Summer of 2006, as I was on recuperative leave from work due to a triple by-pass, we went into a local “Blockbuster” video store. I never go there to rent DVDs (I’ve never rented a DVD in my life, at least up to this point), but to check out what used DVDs they are selling from their shelves.
While flipping through the “5 DVDs for $20.00” section, I came across something called MONSTURD. As I picked it up to look at it, I thought, “No, this just can’t be; no one would make a movie like this.” I looked around to see if perhaps I was on one of those “hidden camera” type shows. Didn’t spot anything.
Since I was actually holding it in my hands and gazing upon its disturbing cover, I couldn’t bloody well deny that it existed. The problem was that if I told people there was such a movie as this, I didn’t feel anyone would believe me. So, yeah, I picked out four other movies with it, plunked down my $20 plus tax and headed on home.
My wife doesn’t particularly enjoy horror films, so I waited until the next working day and plugged this little “treasure” into the DVD player. I have to tell you, it was every bit as tasteless, nauseating and gross as I expected it would be – but it was also very funny. I can forgive a film almost anything as long as it has some intrinsic entertainment value.
The plot goes something like this: a serial killer named Jack Schmitt (get it?) escapes from custody and winds up in a sewer where he falls into a vat of, well, SOMETHING. As it turns out there is a chemical mixed in with this SOMETHING and it splices into Jack’s gene pool, resulting in a walking (not talking, but grunting), serial killing Turd Man. There, I’ve said it, let’s move on.
Without going into too much detail, Jack makes his kills and leaves rooms over the area very messy. If you study the actor’s faces closely, you can sometimes catch them almost “breaking” from character and nearly giving in to the temptation to laugh.
The person most responsible for the chemical spill/cover-up faces his creation in the climax of the movie, proving once again that a-holes usually get what’s coming to them.
Don’t be eating anything while watching this movie; if you don’t throw up your popcorn, you might laugh hard enough to pass several of the kernels through your nose.
Included in the extras is footage of the film’s theatrical premiere. The “Turd Man” outfit is on prominent display at the theater. How this didn’t discourage people from seeing this movie, I’ll never be able to figure it out.
Thank God that this one is not on MY acting resume! This will probably not be a career booster for the “stars” of this movie – in fact, I think that years from now it will came back and bite them on, well, their butts (sorry).
On a scale of 10 tubes of “Preparation H”, I’ll give this one 4 tubes.
In late Summer of 2006, as I was on recuperative leave from work due to a triple by-pass, we went into a local “Blockbuster” video store. I never go there to rent DVDs (I’ve never rented a DVD in my life, at least up to this point), but to check out what used DVDs they are selling from their shelves.
While flipping through the “5 DVDs for $20.00” section, I came across something called MONSTURD. As I picked it up to look at it, I thought, “No, this just can’t be; no one would make a movie like this.” I looked around to see if perhaps I was on one of those “hidden camera” type shows. Didn’t spot anything.
Since I was actually holding it in my hands and gazing upon its disturbing cover, I couldn’t bloody well deny that it existed. The problem was that if I told people there was such a movie as this, I didn’t feel anyone would believe me. So, yeah, I picked out four other movies with it, plunked down my $20 plus tax and headed on home.
My wife doesn’t particularly enjoy horror films, so I waited until the next working day and plugged this little “treasure” into the DVD player. I have to tell you, it was every bit as tasteless, nauseating and gross as I expected it would be – but it was also very funny. I can forgive a film almost anything as long as it has some intrinsic entertainment value.
The plot goes something like this: a serial killer named Jack Schmitt (get it?) escapes from custody and winds up in a sewer where he falls into a vat of, well, SOMETHING. As it turns out there is a chemical mixed in with this SOMETHING and it splices into Jack’s gene pool, resulting in a walking (not talking, but grunting), serial killing Turd Man. There, I’ve said it, let’s move on.
Without going into too much detail, Jack makes his kills and leaves rooms over the area very messy. If you study the actor’s faces closely, you can sometimes catch them almost “breaking” from character and nearly giving in to the temptation to laugh.
The person most responsible for the chemical spill/cover-up faces his creation in the climax of the movie, proving once again that a-holes usually get what’s coming to them.
Don’t be eating anything while watching this movie; if you don’t throw up your popcorn, you might laugh hard enough to pass several of the kernels through your nose.
Included in the extras is footage of the film’s theatrical premiere. The “Turd Man” outfit is on prominent display at the theater. How this didn’t discourage people from seeing this movie, I’ll never be able to figure it out.
Thank God that this one is not on MY acting resume! This will probably not be a career booster for the “stars” of this movie – in fact, I think that years from now it will came back and bite them on, well, their butts (sorry).
On a scale of 10 tubes of “Preparation H”, I’ll give this one 4 tubes.
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