What do you get when you cross “Deliverance” with mountain-dwelling cannibal psychos? LUNCH MEAT!
Discovered this movie back in 1987 and procured a print of it at “Everything’s a Dollar” a few years back. This film is probably one reason that the term “straight to video” was invented.
The cover, as you can see, features Ol’ Harley “enjoying” a fresh meal courtesy of some hikers they ran into. There’s Pa, the leader of the clan and Harley’s brothers, Benny and Elwood. They’re fond of pickaxes and machetes, but not so keen on trespassers. With these implements, Pa and the boys can do their Christmas “chopping” all year ‘round!
I showed this movie to a friend, Andy Miller, when the both of us were still in the Coast Guard. To try to get under Andy’s skin (not like Harley does to his "snacks" in the movie, though), I suggested to him that LUNCH MEAT was a much better film than FOOTLOOSE (one of Andy’s favorites). We would continually argue this point in the offices of the Coast Guard Second District Building where we worked at the time. The staff there called us “Siskel and Ebert”.
The debate has lasted from that time and I suppose it will rage on until one of us concedes (which I don’t see happening). 22+ years have passed and there’s been no resolution yet.
Hey, Andy, they’re remaking FOOTLOOSE! Wouldn’t be too much of a stretch to make it a better film than the original, eh? You won’t see ‘em reimagining LUNCH MEAT, though, because it was a far superior film! There, Andrew, I’ve thrown down the gauntlet. The war continues.
Rating: FOOTLOOSE = Minus 9.
However, since LUNCH MEAT is the BEN-HUR of backwoods cannibal movies featuring deaf/mute maniacs named Harley, I have to give this one 7 out of 10 severed arms. If for no other reason than giving Harley something to munch on later.
Discovered this movie back in 1987 and procured a print of it at “Everything’s a Dollar” a few years back. This film is probably one reason that the term “straight to video” was invented.
The cover, as you can see, features Ol’ Harley “enjoying” a fresh meal courtesy of some hikers they ran into. There’s Pa, the leader of the clan and Harley’s brothers, Benny and Elwood. They’re fond of pickaxes and machetes, but not so keen on trespassers. With these implements, Pa and the boys can do their Christmas “chopping” all year ‘round!
I showed this movie to a friend, Andy Miller, when the both of us were still in the Coast Guard. To try to get under Andy’s skin (not like Harley does to his "snacks" in the movie, though), I suggested to him that LUNCH MEAT was a much better film than FOOTLOOSE (one of Andy’s favorites). We would continually argue this point in the offices of the Coast Guard Second District Building where we worked at the time. The staff there called us “Siskel and Ebert”.
The debate has lasted from that time and I suppose it will rage on until one of us concedes (which I don’t see happening). 22+ years have passed and there’s been no resolution yet.
Hey, Andy, they’re remaking FOOTLOOSE! Wouldn’t be too much of a stretch to make it a better film than the original, eh? You won’t see ‘em reimagining LUNCH MEAT, though, because it was a far superior film! There, Andrew, I’ve thrown down the gauntlet. The war continues.
Rating: FOOTLOOSE = Minus 9.
However, since LUNCH MEAT is the BEN-HUR of backwoods cannibal movies featuring deaf/mute maniacs named Harley, I have to give this one 7 out of 10 severed arms. If for no other reason than giving Harley something to munch on later.
This Andy character must have extremely very outrageously superior taste in film as well as a vastly greater intelligence for he is able to understand the shear artistry behind FOOTLOOSE and the severe lack of merit in lunchmeat. Let's hear it for the boy!!!! Hehehehe. So bad it's at least interesting .... When pcp is involved in watching lunchmeat that is....
ReplyDeleteObviously the only sense of taste you have is in your mouth.
ReplyDeleteLUNCH MEAT is vastly superior to FOOTLOOSE. How? LUNCH MEAT may MAKE you blow chunks, but FOOTLOOSE blows chunks all by its lil' lonesome!