PUNCHLINES REVISITED

…..and moans with the OTHER hand!
…and so Linda Lovelace said, “Wow, I could’ve had a V8!”
A clean bowling shirt!
A dirty cotton rocksucker!
A hockey puck!
A hole in one!
April Fool!
Billy just ate those raisins off that sticky brown paper!
Burt Reynolds, a potato and Richard Nixon.
C’mon Agnes, we don’t have all night - either swallow it or spit it out!
Calm down and be glad you didn’t play the piano.
Can we come in and watch her rot?
Cochise on rye!
Eating at the Y!
Get off my back!
He couldn’t pass the peach pit!
I didn’t want to wake the children.
I don’t know, but it had one goofy-looking brown eye!
I hate to keep bothering you, but it makes my little boy laugh to hear you talk!
I might fall in and get lost for days!
I said “Vaseline” not “Gasoline”!
I’ll bet crowded elevators DO smell different to you!
Immoral Porpoises!
In the morning I’ll be sober – but you’ll still be ugly!
Is it soup yet?
Jerry’s Squids!
Jimmy Hoffa’s class ring!
Listen, the baby just said half a word!
Merry Christmas, Mr. Porter!
No you can’t just lick the bowl; flush it like everyone else!
Nope, but it sure slows her down.
Not until we find a better place to bury daddy.
Of course I just farted! Do you think I smell like that ALL the time?
Oh no, some a-hole’s got my pen!
Oily to Bed, Oily to Rise.
One is a Nazi gasbag, the other blew up over Lakehurst, NJ in 1937!
Other than that, how did you like the play, Mrs. Lincoln?
Pianist Envy!
Shall I wrap it or are you going to eat it here?
She opens the car door.
She wouldn’t eat the mushrooms.
Shut up and stick your arm back in the meat grinder.
So he pulls his pants down, bends over and says, “You tell me!”
So the bear wiped his ass with the bunny.
Take off those crazy-looking pajamas and I’ll show you what I can do!
Thanks, but I’ll fill my own canteen from now on!
That’s all the more for us, then!
The Amalgamated Association of Morons.
The other half of Aunt Helen is still in the freezer!
Union Carbide!
Wait, I think I’m in the wrong joke.
We have very low ceilings.
We just want to float on his iron lung.
We’re arresting you for making an obscene clone fall!
What? No foreplay?
Who cares?
Wow, Doc, you sure know how to fill a cavity!
Yes Custer was scared. Just look in his leather pants!
Yes, but in private and only for a donation.
You know your hooks won’t hold the paddle.
You should see what the steamroller just did to him.
You’re lickin’ the rug!